April showers bring May flowers correct?? Well, they sure do! If you would like the seeds you plant to bring forth blossoms, I’m going to tell you how!!
This month’s newsletter will focus on how to get the most out of your DAY, AND be happy to boot! Today, I will focus on a concept, a concept that is probably VERY familiar to all of you: expectation vs. disappointment. If you are anything like me, there are times when we give something hoping the person we are giving it to WILL RECIPROCATE. After the fact, we may start to tabulate the scores not only for THAT person but for everyone else in our lives too! Then a whole whirlwind starts to happen in our head as we think, “Man, I’m really getting the S$%^ end of the deal!” So we just stop all together, and wait not only for those people who don’t reciprocate but we start to evaluate EVERYONE. We keep the smile going, but refuse to reach out unless people start to prove themselves.
We then focus all our energy on what is NOT HAPPENING, and continue on our daily routine with not much to look forward to, basking in the fact that that something “is missing”. We then start to compare ourselves to others (which is a big NO NO) and the rest of the time spent not working or doing our chores is spent in our head thinking about what’s not right in our lives.
Does this sound familiar? If it does, I have some positive news for you, but it’s going to take some work and effort! Yes, that means you have to do something to create new experiences for yourself. You would THEN be responsible for your happiness and no one else. The good news is that you are not only in control of your happiness, but if you don’t GIVE AWAY the power to other people to “make” you happy, they ALSO NO LONGER HAVE THE POWER TO TAKE IT AWAY!! Now that’s a great trade off, isn’t it!!
I don’t care how much you tell me you’re happy just because you have a positive attitude and your outer world seems on track. Are you really happy when the day winds down and you’re alone with your own thinking? Do you spend time ruminating, with racing thoughts, wondering why people are acting the way they are? Are you playing on the pity pot when there is no one there to see you putting on a happy face??
Ok, so you may be saying, “Marisa, I get what you’re saying! It all makes sense, BUT some people are very draining to me, and I give give give and I don’t get back!” Well, I will tell you loud and clear, “I HEAR YA!!” And I would say to you that of course personal boundaries are important, and you should NOT do anything that YOU DON’T WANT TO DO. If you do not want to do it, and you feel drained, you should say NO. I am not mentioning to give at the expense of yourself. Relationships are not a “one way street”. And if one person is the giver and the other is the taker, it’s a relationship, but it’s not a healthy one! Because in those types of relationships, BOTH people are looking for outside elements of fulfillment, though opposite means.
If both people are TRULY happy, the relationship resides in flow, like a beautiful water fountain. The water is constantly moving, flowing and both help the other. It’s not stagnant, it does not stand still, and it if is in stillness, it still resides within a flow, within a beautiful constant.
You can also be your own beautiful water fountain, and stand tall! Instead of asking people to fill you, you radiate a beauty that others are attracted to. You don’t try to bring people to you, YOU JUST STAND TALL, FLOW AND YOU BECOME. You become an element of beauty that others marvel at, and appreciate the beauty within your natural state. You will not have to GET from anywhere or anything, because you ARE already and you shine! Your brilliance is within, even when no one is looking!
So, ok I think we are on the same page now lol. But how do you do this? You start by doing small things that make YOU happy each day. You say hello to people, you compliment others on a job well done, you appreciate the little things, and you start to DO THE THINGS that you’ve always wanted to start doing. Don’t tell me you’re busy, you “don’t have time”, or anything else. I could give you all my excuses too. All those excuses protect you from having to take some risks in life. Because deep down there may be a fear of talking to some new people, you may be apprehensive about trying something new, and being busy is a great excuse because you feel you are “doing something” when in fact you are just spinning your wheels!
Now, if you’re like me, you want to do it ALL at once. Try small steps. Go to a new breakfast place. Help someone. Appreciate someone or something. Surprise someone with a little gift to show you were thinking about them. These small steps and gestures of kindness will bring you more happiness in the moments of your day than any expectation you could place on another! Try it!!
Remember…the little things in life are the most magical 🙂
Have a great April!
Now onto the Mini Messages
Grover – either that is someone’s name or it is a reference to the Sesame street character! I feel two children around this family and there looks to be a graduation coming this summer. Grandma on the other side wants to mention “Grover”!! Perhaps whoever reads this will understand!
Sammy – They are giving you a “thumbs up” from the other side. You are doing a great job, keep up the good work!! Some schooling or training is also coming within the next year and a half, so get ready to go and don’t be bashful!! Something about baseball is coming up too, maybe “wiffle ball”???
Joey or Joseph – I feel like this is a younger boy in the living, pop pop on the other side is very proud of you especially with little league (a lot of these references today though). He says that you are destined to be very talented in sports and GREAT!! So keep going. I don’t know if this is connected to the post above but there is a Sam or Samantha reference here as well.
Donna, do not dismay. Those on the other side are supporting you during this difficult time, if you have had someone recently pass, know that they are helping them with this transition. There is an Andy or Andrew connection in the living with you who will prove to be very helpful and will keep you with a positive attitude! There is an older lady with curlers & bobby pins standing here with her hand on her hip!! She is giving you the no-no symbol with her hand. Don’t get into any trouble!! Keep on track, ok?
Stu/Stuie/Stuart – Is this an animal on the other side? If so, he’s doing just fine! I also see a black cat with white fur on the underside or chest. He is very happy!
George is coming in with a huge smile on his face. He is wearing a grayish green hat that looks pretty worn and showing me a fishing license. He is also showing me his workboots which is a sign that he thinks you may need new shoes or boots. The interesting element here is that his boots are sopping wet, as if he has been in a swamp or something. His socks are all wet too. There is a John connection to him, and a Joseph. He says your neck is stiff, and you need to stretch your muscles a bit. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are several more challenges coming, 2 in fact, but you will move through them. It’s time to get away from the “train tracks” he says. Not sure what that means. He is also showing a red lollipop.
Jiffy, or Giffy, a nickname, someone on the other side says HELLO!!
Brenda or Brandon, it’s time to start getting organized! You have a lot on your plate and things are about to get VERY busy for you! Clean out your closet and clothes too, you don’t need it all!!
Victoria, smile and know and that everything you’ve been waiting for is coming!!
Gene, get that pedicure!!